The following post is an excerpt from Hope to Win the War, by Jacob Way.

One thing I struggled with during my pornography addiction was doubting if God still loved me. I could comprehend how God forgave my sins when I was younger, but what about when I deliberately rebelled against Him? What about when I consistently fall to pornography — does His love for me change?

One lie I believed was that God’s love is conditional— that I could become unlovable. Here is the truth of the gospel—God responds to our willful disregard for His love with grace, and mercy. He initiated the relationship, and He promised to love us. He forgives our unappreciativeness. He softens our calloused hearts and calms our anxious doubts. He reminds us that He loved us before the Milky Way was spoken into being. He died for us when we were sinners, the farthest away from Him that we could ever be. For love, the Father sent the Son. For love, the Son let Himself be nailed to a cross. For love, the Holy Spirit changed your heart. For love, God empowers you to live a life free from sin, a life to love and serve God and others.

God knew the sins you would commit before you became a believer, and He knew the ones you would commit after you became a believer. He knew all the sin we would ever commit and He still chose you. Jesus knew exactly how you would take Him for granted, and He still joyfully went to the cross. He knew and knows about your porn addiction, and His love has not changed. He isn’t surprised by the mess you’ve made. God doesn’t have buyer’s remorse. He’s not looking for a receipt to send you back. He doesn’t regret dying for you. He knew exactly what His relationship with you would entail, and He still chose to adopt you.

There is no wrath for God’s children. We have confidence, therefore, in God’s future love because there is only love for us in the future. Remember the logic of Romans. If He died for us as sinners, how much more can we be confident of His love as His children? This means that we are not demoted when we are disobedient. We are not unadopted even if we neglect our inheritance.

Maybe you have struggled to return to God because you think He won’t forgive you, or that He has to punish you first. This isn’t true. If you still fear punishment as a Christian, let God’s Word pour into your heart. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.” (1 John 4:18) God’s love for you assures you that you don’t need to be afraid of the future. You don’t need to doubt God’s love. You can be confident that you belong to Him and will be with Him forever.