At Immanuel, we recently started a new Immanuel Institute class for our men on the topic of prayer. Over the last two decades, I’ve done quite a bit of study on prayer, and I even put some of that study into book form – Pray Better: Learning to Pray Biblically was first released in 2014. My conclusion, two decades in, is that most of us intuitively know what prayer is, but we’re also quite confused about prayer.

Most basically, prayer is talking to God. That definition is simple enough, but without further clarification, one might reach unbiblical conclusions about prayer. For starters, the act of talking to God is always impacted by what one believes about God. In Islam, Allah is sovereign and absolute, so prayer is an act of submission. In Buddhism, there is no God, so prayer is an impersonal act that can be done with bells and wheels. In animism, the gods and spirits are everywhere, and one is constantly interacting with these unseen beings. In Christianity, God is eternally Triune. That is, God is personal and relational. God created us in his image so that we might know him and talk to him and relate to him.

Second, we need to be clear that not everyone who “prays” is actually talking to the one, true, Triune God. Intellectual integrity demands that we recognize the fact that the various religions of the world do not believe the same things about God. In fact, the more you study comparative religion, the more differences you notice. The Bible assumes that those who speak to false gods and idols are not actually praying to the one, true, Triune God. 1 Kings 18 tells us that as the prophets of Baal and Asherah raved on, no one listened or paid attention. Acts 17 insists that the idolaters of Athens didn’t actually know the God of the Bible.

Third, when we pray we are talking to a God who has revealed himself as omniscient, wise, omnipotent, good, and immutable. That means, there’s nothing we can tell God he doesn’t already know. There’s no advice we can give God that he hasn’t already considered. There’s no situation where God’s hands are tied. Everything God has ordained and decreed is good, and God does not change in his knowledge, character, will, or promises.

This is the high and mighty God to whom we pray, and this is why the Bible calls us to be slow to speak to such a God (Ecclesiastes 5). If your prayers mostly consist of you updating God or trying to change God’s mind, you’re doing it wrong. If your prayers mostly consist of enjoying relationship with God and repeatedly expressing dependence on God, you’re headed in the right direction. Our prayers should involve less advice and more recognition of our neediness, and more thanksgiving.

Last, done rightly, prayer is always a response to God’s self-revelation. The Bible makes it very clear – God speaks first, then we respond in prayer. God spoke to Adam. God speaks through creation. God spoke through prophets and apostles. God speaks through his Word. The lesson for all of us ought to be obvious, until we have stopped to hear God speak to us, we are in no position to speak to him.