The Birds and the Bees

Bird and BeeMy kids are 10, 6, 5, and 1. This year our 10 year old will be in 5th grade, which is the year many public schools give the infamous talk about the birds and the bees. As my wife and I talked about this coming crisis, we both felt like our daughter was too young for this life milestone. We wanted to shelter our daughter from what she might hear at school. We wanted to pretend we could just ignore this topic of discussion.

Eventually, reality caught up with us. We know we can’t shelter her anymore than we can ignore this topic. Even thought we’ve had several brief conversations about the birds and the bees, we realized it was time to take real action. Like most parents, we were both terrified and intimidated. We did a bit of research online and found a few promising resources (I’ll be writing reviews of these resources over the next few weeks).

For now, I want to share a few thoughts about the birds, the bees, and your family.

  1. Saying nothing is a bad approach. Relying on others is a bad approach. You can’t ignore this issue with your kids. If you don’t teach them the truth, the world will be happy to teach them a lie. Additionally, you cannot pass this responsibility on to your school or your church.
  2. Part of making disciples is equipping parents to teach their kids about the biblical view of sex. The church is called to make disciples who know how to obey all Jesus commanded. This includes the biblical ethic about sex, as well as the ability to teach this ethic to the next generation.
  3. Modern family life makes this talk an absolute necessity. Divorce has been totally normalized. Homosexual marriage is now the law of the land. Many kids will never experience a traditional “nuclear” family. Our world is highly confused about sex, marriage, and family.
  4. The internet, social media, and pop-culture will impact your children. It doesn’t matter if you unplug, live on a compound, home school, and put your kids in a Christian bubble. They will be affected by the world around them. They need the truth to guide them.
  5. There are good resources available to guide conversations with your kids. Most parents dread the “talk” because they feel ill equipped to discuss these issues. Some even feel guilty about past mistakes. For those dreading the “talk,” there are good resources available.
  6. You must base your sexual ethic on Scripture alone. This requires vigilance on your part. You must not trust a resource simply because you bought it at a Christian bookstore, and you must not allow the wisdom of our age to trump the unchanging truth of Scripture.
  7. At some point, you must talk to your kids about pornography. The ease of access is simply remarkable. Your sons and your daughters need to think biblically about pornography. They need accountability. They need straight talk. They need to know the consequences of this sin.
  8. At some point, you must talk to your kids about homosexuality. This needs to happen sooner rather than later. The issue has been thrust upon us, and we cannot afford to be silent. Your children need to know what the Bible says about this issue, as well as how to love homosexuals.
  9. One talk is good, but many talks are better. Sitting your kids down for an official talk about the birds and the bees is good. It’s certainly better than ignoring the issues entirely. However, a better approach is an ongoing dialogue with your children about sex, dating, and marriage.
  10. You’d better start praying for wisdom today. The book of Proverbs warns about those who wait for trouble to hit before praying for God’s help. A better approach is praying for wisdom today, so that you’re ready to discuss unexpected topics and to deal with unexpected issues.

Originally published August 15, 2016 on